“Another five minutes and he should be here,” says Meg softly as she holds my hand, “don’t worry, it’ll be OK, he’s a nice guy,”

“Yes,”, I say, “I’ll be fine”. I am ready for it. We are standing at the corner of a broad street across from one of the most popular pubs in the city. I am wearing a bright red saree with sequins that shone dully under the streetlight. The sequins on the blouse are visible under the sheer chiffon, my arms bare, my face made up, my hair loose and abandoned in the latest style. I have a stylish handbag too tucked under my arm. I am scared and I don’t want to be where I am. I look at my watch and ask Meg,” Are you sure this is the place?”

“It is,” says Meg tiredly, “how many times to tell you? It is all fixed”.

*********************************************************

I heard my mother’s voice. “They should be here any minute. Are you ready?”, she asked me as she entered the room.. “Yeah, that looks nice. Wear some more flowers. Here, let me fix it for you”, she said and turning me around she proceeded to place flowers on my neatly plaited hair and gave me well meant advice on expected behaviour from a “girl” who is to be “seen” by a “boy”. “ It’s OK, mom, I won’t let you down”. “ I know that, baby,” mom said as she swirled her hand over my face and took a kiss off her fingers. I was wearing an orange coloured silk saree with big prints with matching bangles and jewelry made for me from money saved from my father’s salary little by little. I was excited and eager and soon I was married and expecting my first child and during those happy years I did not hear the sound of the myth of a happy marriage breaking softly. 

*********************************************************

“He’s here”, says Meg. She gives me a hug. “listen, be careful, call me as soon as you can”. She moves away as the car swings to park ahead of where I am standing. I walk to the car and peer in. The door opens and I get in. “ Hello”, he says, “lets go someplace else”.

*********************************************************

I am desperate for money. Everything’s a mess. The business is dying. The debt is mounting. I have a home to save. The “boy” I married has no idea how to salvage a business or a marriage. I have no jewelry left to sell. The money is never enough. I have already borrowed from my family and from friends who have given me the money knowing full well that they may never get it back. I have to repay them. I am committed to this.

********************************************************* 

“Shall we stop here”, he asks. I look at him. A neat nervous face. “Will you kiss it for me?” He stops the car in a dark corner of a quiet street. He releases the seat belt and pushes back his seat. He looks at me. I watch as I ease him out of his zip and I bend down. I hear my mother’s voice encouraging me, “Baby, if the medicine is bitter, just plug your nostrils with your other hand and swallow the medicine. You won’t get the taste at all”,

“ Thanks”, he says and clumsily points out to the five hundred rupee note he has placed beneath the mobile phone on the dash board. I take the note and get out of the car. I watch the car move away. I spit out in the corner as I take a sip of water from the bottle in my handbag that Meg had advised me to carry. I take a deep breath and I call up Meg.. “It’s over. Where next ?”

*********************************************************

*********************************************************